â€œLet yourself be silently drawn to the stronger pull of what you really are.â€ – Rumi
Maybe itâ€™s because weâ€™ve been enjoying awesome weather and folks have Spring Fever that Iâ€™ve noticed on Facebook this week, several posts from my ‘friends’ about how â€œit suckedâ€ that they had to go to their jobs, or a comment about their work with the exclamation, â€œYuck!â€ So often in my work with women, I hear the frustration they have with their jobs – a friendâ€™s weekend plans gone awry because of an important project deadline, a relative who aspires to be a writer than be trapped by her unsatisfying corporate career, and a sister-in-law who is required by her employer to work mandatory overtime, or else…
Really? (insert ominous, impending doom-type music) Or, ELSE?
So, is this our choice as women (and men)?:Â Your job or your life?
The fact that many people I care about are unhappy in their work makes me sad. I wonder why their jobs â€œsuck.â€ Do they actually dislike the work and wish they could do something more fulfilling? Are they Moms (or Dads) with little kids who wish they could be at home to raise them? Are they treated like liabilities at work instead of the assets that good employees are? Do they truly believe there are no other options?
Yeah, yeah, I know…In this economy everyone who has ANY job should be grateful.Â And, I agree, to a certain point. And, I say that certain point is when you dread facing another day that you have to walk into your workplace or when your physical and mental health is deteriorating or when â€œthe Manâ€ is demanding so much of you that you have no time or energy to enjoy your family, friends and leisure activities that nourish and re-create your soul.
Oh, youâ€™re at that point now?
So, what can you do to make it better?
No, no, no; donâ€™t walk into work and tell your boss to take this job and shove it!
Even though that might grant some immediate satisfaction, a more prudent approach is probably wiser.
My suggestion would be to start with an analysis of whatâ€™s making you unhappy in your job or career – is it the pay, the schedule, the unreasonable demands, or do you just hate the work itself? What would have to change to make you happy enough to want to stay? Ask for those changes. Donâ€™t tell me itâ€™s impossible. Nothing is impossible. They may not be willing to make the changes, but itâ€™s not impossible. It might be â€œagainst our policy,â€ but itâ€™s NOT impossible.
To be fair, make a list of what you like about it, too, such as the short commute, the great co-workers, the daily doughnuts. A longer list of â€œprosâ€ than â€œconsâ€ or simply an attitude of gratitude can offer a shift in perspective – if not forever, at least until you can forge an acceptable exit strategy.
Now, take stock of your values and priorities. Be honest with yourself! If you want to stay home to raise your kids or you KNOW youâ€™re called to another profession, youâ€™ll want to find a way to do that, no matter what.
Because your authentic self will stay squelched until you fully use your divinely-given gifts and talents to their highest good and until you truly live your values by â€œwalking your talk.â€ And, when your authentic self is squelched, you are disappointed, unhappy and feel like youâ€™re missing out on the important stuff of life.
So, what do you REALLY want? (STOP reading this post now and answer that question before you go on!). Seriously…
Great! You want ______________!
Oh, wait, listen…
I can hear that little hobgoblin called FEAR whispering into your ear and sheâ€™s saying that you canâ€™t possibly have that thing you want – stay home with the kiddos, start your own business, go back to school, work for a better company.
Stop listening to her! Yes, yes, yes you can! You CAN have what you truly desire for yourself!
I can give you myriad examples of women just like you who have done just that.
â€¢ Kathy, from Austin, who just became an international flight attendant at age 49, while still maintaining her independent court reporting business.
â€¢ Kim, with age 40 looming, with a new baby and three other children, realized that she needed to follow her lifelong dream of becoming a nurse-midwife. She finished nursing school and works in labor and delivery at a metropolitan hospital.
â€¢ Jenny, from Atlanta, who with her partner, found a way to live on one income so that Jenny could stay home and raise their son. She found what they â€œsacrificedâ€ was quite small in comparison to what they and their son gained.
â€¢ Lori, at age 36 left the â€œsecurityâ€ of a good job and moved 2100 miles away to a tiny town in Montana with no job in sight because it suited her better than the big city. That was almost 16 years ago – no regrets.
I am so grateful to be able to do work that I love and I’m grateful that what I love to do helps others to live their lives more joyfully and authentically. For me, my career is integrated into my lifeâ€™s purpose and my partnership with the divine – a concept called Avodah (work and worship as one).
And, yours can be, too.
So, whatâ€™s your choice?
Your Job or Your Life?
How about both?
Please leave your comments, questions and ideas below. And, remember, â€œIt is never too late to be what you might have been.â€ -George Eliot
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